Fencing Failure




Alpha Male is on ‘holiday’. This means he’s not leaving for work each day but staying home and ‘catching up on a few chores’. Today’s ‘chore’ was refencing the driveway. He’s a man on a mission, unstoppable, oh and he expects me to share his enthusiasm.

After much fiddle fluffing and general dawdling around the house, I eventually ran out of excuses and go out to ‘help’ him. I was given a very simple chore, hammer the insulators onto the posts with staples. Very very simple. I’ve done it all before. However I did find the 15 minute lecture he gave me prior to starting extremely off-putting. The pressure was on for the fence to look just perfect, because well….the cows expect perfection right!

He left me to it and Favourite Son was on stand by as chief staple/insulator handerer.  I was a bit nervous while hammering in those staples, straight lines and I aren’t exactly the best of friends, and I swear EVERY staples I hammered went in on some sort of awkward angle. Plus we were working on top of a ridge and the wind was both chilling and howling (for the record, those howling winds drive me insane).

Tap, tap, tap. Twist, bend, warp. Frustration brewing. Made a right mess of one staple and it had to come out. But wouldn’t.

“Can you please go ask your father for a pair of pliers”, I said to Favourite Son, “And if he asks say you want to trim your toenails”.

Darn, the pliers pulled the staple out of the timber but not out of the insulator, there is a tiny little barb holding it in place.

“Can you please go ask your father for bolt cutters”, I ask Favourite Son, “If he asks, then mention your toenails again”.

Favourite Son scampers back with bolt cutters. “I’m sorry mum, I really am, but he followed me back”. (Hmmm, he doesn’t sound sorry, in fact he’s laughing his head off).

Problem fixed, but really I’m not enjoying this and making a bad job of it. Favourite Son leaves me and my foul mood, his parting shot is “I’m going to work with a professional”. Cheeky bugger.

Aaargh the pain! Chest pain that is. Could I be having a heart attack? Nope, my heart is on the other side. Indigestion? Or could it just be some sort of muscle strain from wielding the hammer (and possibly because I whacked the post a few times in a childish angry moment). Decide to lie down in the grass, it’s actually warmer on the ground away from the wind. Wonder how long it will take for Alpha Male to come and see what’s wrong with me………waiting, waiting, waiting…..well he never bothers to come (although later he tells me that he and Favourite Son had a good old laugh at my expense).

Stomp stomp stomp. I’m gone. Off in a hissy-fit of a huff.

Maybe tomorrow when we do another fence I’ll be in a better mood.


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